Andrea Takenaka.

May 9, 1995.

19 years.

Honolulu, Hawaii.

College Life.

Kpop & Jpop <3.

Love making new friends (:




facebook: http://www.facebook.com/drealoveaaa
Instagram: drealoveaaa921

 

"Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

flawless - [flaw-lis]; [flɔːləs]
having no discernible blemishes or shortcomings; perfect; flawless beauty.

(Source: kaibility)

q

romanovastiel:

Treat yourself the way you treat your favorite characters. Look into your back-story to understand your current plot. Sympathize with yourself. Recognize your flaws, and appreciate your strengths. Defend yourself. Cheer yourself on when you go into battle. Appreciate every relationship you make and always look for hidden potential. You’re the protagonist in your story. You’re the main character. You’re the hero.

Treat yourself like one.

COMPLIMENTS THAT AREN’T ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

1) You’re empowering.
2) I like your voice.
3) You’re strong.
4) I think your ideas/beliefs matter.
5) I’m so happy you exist.
6) More people should be listening to what you have to say.
7) You’re a very warm hearted person.
8) It’s nice seeing such kindness.
9) You’re very down to earth.
10) You have a beautiful soul.
11) You inspire me to become a better person.
12) Our conversations bring me a lot of joy.
13) It’s good to see someone care so much.
14) You’re so understanding.
15) You matter a lot to me.
16) You’re important even if you don’t think so.
17) You’re intelligent.
18) Your passion is contagious.
19) Your confidence is refreshing.
20) You restore my faith in humanity.
21) You’re great at being creative.
22) You’re so talented at ____.
23) I don’t get tired of you the way I get tired of other people.
24) You have great taste in ___.
25) I’m happy I stayed alive long enough to meet you.
26) I wish more people were like you.
27) You’re so good at loving people.

3:29 p.m. feel free to add to this!  (via expresswithsilence)

I like this list. Nice reminder.

(via onlynina)

(Source: angryasianfeminist)

guy:

don’t u hate when u leave the house confident and looking good but u don’t see anyone hot the whole day like what a waste

@HZT-ao:  时间过的快,伤也好的快,随着时间一样你们和我都没有变坏。 你继续往下看,会发现这像Rap,没错我写了一段Rap就是给你们看。Yeah 为了弥补那天演场会的过错往后,我会更用心的为你们付出以后,让我们一直不分开就像以前拉过的勾许过的愿一样永远走到最后。 Thanks. 
[ Translation ] Times passes fast, injuries get better fast too. Together with time passing by you and I have not become bad. Continue reading, and you’ll realize that this sounds like a rap ; That’s right, I wrote a small rap for you guys to hear. Yeah, to replace the day I attended the concert with an injury, I’ll work harder for you guys in the future. Let us always not separate just like the pinkie promise that we made and the wish that we prayed last time, always walk till the end with each other. 

trenchcoatinimpala:

things you don’t point out about people:

  • acne
  • cuts
  • Scars
  • body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
  • fat rolls/curves
  • how much/how little they’re eating
  • how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are
  • How fat they are.
  • If they sweat a lot

don’t do it

don’t

(Source: fishingboatstops)

Sometimes we need to be hurt in order to grow. We must lose in order to gain. Sometimes, some lessons are learned through pain.

(via joyaahmarie)